What To Do if You Are Being Abused

Note: Portions of this section have been taken from the Canadian Network for the Prevention of Elder Abuse website.

If you are being abused...

If you are being abused, you need to know:

• You are not to blame for the violence or the threats.
• You do not deserve to be abused.
• You have a right to live without fear.
• You have the right to a safe, healthy relationship and to have your own life.
• You cannot control the abuser's behaviour.
• Abuse often gets worse over time.

If you are not ready, or do not want to do anything right now, that is your choice—it is okay. But you can find out information about what you need to know, or do, if you decide to leave at a later date. Information gives you personal choice and personal power.

If you live in the community...

• Tell someone you trust what is happening to you.
• Ask others for help if you need it.
• If someone is hurting or threatening you, or if it is not safe for you where you are, call the police.
• Find out more from community resources about your options to take care of your financial security and personal needs.
• Call for counselling and support.
• Make a safety plan in case you have to leave quickly:
  1. Set aside an extra set of keys, I.D., glasses, bank card, money, address book, medication, and important papers. Keep this outside of your home.
  2. Find a safe place with friends and family so you have a place to go to in an emergency.
• Considering obtaining a restraining order to protect yourself.

If you live in a place such as a nursing home, care home, seniors' lodge or assisted living facility...

• Tell someone what is happening to you.
• Ask others for help if you need it. Staff members have a responsibility to see that abuse stops and that you get the help you need.
• If someone is hurting or threatening you, or if it is not safe for you where you are, call the police.
  
  

If you know someone who is being abused...

• If you think an adult needs help, talk to them first to find out how you might assist. Ask:
  • Are you having some trouble? Can I help you?
  • Is there someone I can put you in touch with who can help?
  • How would you like to be assisted?
• Ask the advice of someone you trust who might know where to get the kind of help the adult needs.
• Believe the abused older person. Even if the abuser seems nice, even if the abuser is also your friend.
• Listen to the person without judging. Do not give advice, do not express pity; reinforce that you care and will support the abused person with whatever she or he needs.
• Educate yourself. Realize that abuse exists in your own community and to ignore and deny that fact further isolates the person who is experiencing it. Become familiar with resources and support services available.
• Understand that leaving an abusive relationship is difficult. Allow abused older people to make their own decisions and to take back control of their lives at their own pace.
• Offer the abused older person a place to stay.
• Encourage the person to seek support and assistance.
• Provide information and resources to the person so that she/he can make decisions and know what options are available.

For information on services and resources available call the Department of Seniors at 424-0065 (or 1-800-670-0065 outside HRM).

Call the police or 911 immediately if you or someone you know is in immediate, life-threatening danger.

Adult Protection

Reporting known or suspected cases of abuse against a vulnerable adult is mandatory in Nova Scotia. The Adult Protection Act serves to protect people aged 16 years or older who are abused or neglected and cannot physically or mentally protect or care for themselves. It creates an obligation and legal responsibility for any person to report suspected abuse or neglect. The Act protects the person who reports abuse unless the information is given maliciously or without reasonable and probable cause.

The Nova Scotia Department of Health administers Adult Protection Services within the Continuing Care Branch. About 75% of persons assisted under the Act are seniors. More information on Adult Protection Services can be found at www.gov.ns.ca/health/ccs.

If you know or suspect an adult is need of protection, call Adult Protection Services at 1-800-225-7225.