Problem Gambling
Talking to someone we love about a potential gambling problem can be difficult. How do you start? What do you say? Do I confront like in Adam’s story or do I approach it differently? What if they get angry? What if they talk about hurting themselves?
These are all real concerns, but it's very important to talk about it, because the first step to recovery is acknowledging there's a problem. Here are some tips to get you started.
Before you speak to your loved one, speak to a counsellor, doctor or other professional you trust.
Sometimes bringing a trusted a friend or family member with you can help, especially if there's the possibility of anger.
Remember, you can't stop loved one from gambling. Only they can do that.
Choose the right moment. Bringing up the topic in anger can be counterproductive.
Don't try to talk to loved one when they're actually playing. They won't be listening to you. They'll be caught up in their gambling.
Be firm but supportive. Let them know that their behaviour is causing problems but remember it is the behaviour that's the problem, not the person.
Speak in a caring and understanding tone. Let them know you're there for them.
Be a good listener. Hear what they're saying about their behaviour. Your loved one may feel there is no problem or they may be glad you're concerned about them. If you need to take a break from the conversation to think about what you heard, that's okay.
Bring up facts and connect them to your feelings (i.e. played all night, spent this much money, etc.). Without attacking them, tell your loved one how their behaviour is affecting people around them.
If you are concerned about the financial impact of their gambling, discuss how to ensure that bills get paid and finances are protected. If necessary, speak to a professional who can advise what to do in this circumstance. Help them set and stick to a budget.
If your loved one agrees that they need help, be prepared to give them the phone number of a counseling service in your area as well as web addresses for information.
Get help for yourself. There are services for you to learn how to cope with your loved one's behaviour.